giving "life" ??

today at school, one of my friend asked me to comment on her essay.. well, we always do this kinda thing ( "commenting" each other ) after each exam.. ok, so what came to my mind on that time was : 
to "soften" the sentence or giving flow to it or better said as giving "life" to the sentence, maybe? well tchr, if u read this, pls correct which ever should be corrected.. hehe! maybe u guys will see it better with examples.

a) the books suddenly felt from the shelf. everybody was shocked.

b) the books suddenly felt from the shelf creating a loud sudden sound which had made everybody's hair erected. there was a long silence and only the beating of everybody's heart could be heard.

in my point of view, (b) sentence is better than (a). i think, (b) helps the reader to understand more of the situation. it helps the reader to see the sit. in an interesting way. to round up everything, (b) had done well than (a).

ok folks, that's it. one example for today. maybe in the next post, i'll add in some more. u know, clock doesn't seem to agree with me all the time... i've to give up.. hehe..see ya in the coming week. gonna be busy up to next friday. bye!